Tugging at my heart strings

Poor Rachel is going through a needy stage at night. I think it has to do with recently giving up her pa-pa. She's been having trouble putting herself to sleep. Instead of falling asleep automatically, she's coming to her door and calling for us and begging for us to rock her, sing her a song, lay in bed with her, sit with her, etc... When we won't do any of these things, she'll say her feet are cold and she needs socks or she needs to go pee pee or she needs some medicine. So, trying to be tough parents, we won't even enter her room. We make her bring socks to the door and we put them on her feet there and we deny her other requests. Well, tonight was an especially difficult night. I was feeling much more vulnerable and she was definitely tugging at my heartstrings. She stood at the door, crying, asking for me to come into her room and put her in bed. But, I wouldn't do it. I was afraid if I came in her room and put her into bed that this would lead to more things she needed and more nights of this very same thing. (We've already been having issues with this for a little over a week.) Nick and I have been trying to be nice and comforting, but at some point, we figure we just have to be tough. But, boy, it doesn't feel good to be tough. It just makes me feel sad. After I finally got Rachel to walk herself back to her bed and tuck herself in...crying the whole time, I blew her a kiss, told her I loved her and closed the door. I stood at her door and listened for a few minutes and she was so sad, saying things like, "no one wants to rock me" or "why no one will tuck me in?" or other extremely dramatic and SAD things. So, I feel like a piece of "poo" and wish I had just given in and taken that poor baby to her bed, tucked her in and stayed with her until she fell asleep. But, since I didn't, I hope this will end the cycle and my sweet little Rachel can put herself to bed now and neither one of us has to feel sad. I really hope I did the right thing! I love my sweet little girl sooooooooooooo much!!!!

My little helpers

Cuddling under Bradley's blankies

I can remember from when Rachel was very young, that she always wanted to be my helper. She's always wanted to be where I was, doing whatever I was doing and "helping". Nowadays, if we go to the store, she's happiest if she can be out of the cart, picking up items and putting them in the cart. She's very good at doing this and is actually a good listener. Just today, we went to Michael's and Wal Mart and she was my little helper putting things we needed in the cart. Anytime I make anything in the kitchen, she wants to help. Her favorite thing to make is cupcakes...for obvious reasons...she loves pouring in the ingredients, stirring the batter, tasting a little bit, and then icing and decorating the cupcakes. While I was folding Nick's socks today, she wanted to help. So, she undid a few and attempted to roll them back up. It was cute watching her work so hard at such a boring, but necessary task. She always wants to help Bradley do anything, even though he usually wants to do everything himself. I actually enjoy having Rachel help me and she really does do a good job! Bradley is also becoming a little helper, mostly because he mimics his big sister. If he sees his big sister helping in the kitchen, he wants to help too. His idea of helping is a little backwards, since it usually involves undoing whatever task I've just accomplished.

But, either way, both Rachel and Bradley are precious little helpers and I love how they "help" me in different ways!

"Nothing days"

While sitting here trying to figure out what to write, I think to myself, today we did nothing, so how is that interesting? But, then I realize that these "nothing days" will be gone soon, so I may as well write down what we did so I can look back and fondly remember days when we had very little that we had to do.

The kids slept relatively well last night. Bradley woke up once and, as usual, wanted me to come in his room, pick him up and hold him for a few minutes. So, I did. He usually cries and calls "MA" and then is very content to be held and swayed for a couple of minutes until I lay him back down. I know this is silly and it obviously interrupts both of our sleep cycles, but it's a hard habit to break. He's a very sweet little boy who is in the habit of needing a hug and a warm body during the middle of the night. Both kids got up around 7:15, we got up, got juice and a pre-breakfast snack of pretzels and turned on the tv. Then, we let Dixie out of the garage, made Nick a sandwich for lunch and changed Bradley's diaper. We made cinnamon toast and frozen waffles with grapes for breakfast, which the kids ate in the den while I took a shower. After I was dressed, we started some laundry and tried to use the dryer, but it was officially old, after 31 years of service. She was "goldie" our harvest gold dryer given to us by Joe and Deborah when we got married. They had bought her brand new, and she had dried many a load, but it was time to let her go this evening. She's currently in our garage, awaiting her final resting place. Nick came home with the cheapest dryer he could find at Lowe's. Wow! It sure was nice to have a quiet, quick dryer! Anyway, once we figured out we couldn't do much laundry, we went outside. We went to the backyard to swing, slide, run and play. Bradley found a puddle on one of the plastic slides and he stomped and made a mess until there was no more water. It was funny watching him enjoy making such a mess. Rachel darted in and out of the playhouses with a full dialogue between her and "baby sister" and "apple dumplin". (They are her imaginary playmates who accompany us many places!) We came inside at a little before noon, stripped off ALL our clothes (which were playclothes that are deemed "get as dirty as possible"), washed up, put on clean, comfy clothes, got fresh juice and watched Teletubbies while I made lunch. Rachel wanted a turkey, cheese and mayo sandwich with apples and chips. Bradley didn't say, but he got a peanut butter sandwich with apples and chips. They ate and played and then it was time for Bradley's nap. Around 1:20, I changed Bradley's diaper, got him a fresh juice and wrapped him up in his favorite fuzzy blanket, with Bay of course, and rocked him for a couple of minutes. He never falls asleep during the rocking, but it's fun and we both love it, so we just rock for a few minutes and then I lay him down in his crib. He puts himself to sleep in 5-10 minutes. He usually talks and makes noises part of that time. He'll usually nap for 2 hours and while he's asleep, Rachel and I play and then rest. Today, she wanted to go upstairs to play, so we built a house of legos for the one lego character that we have: Mr. Lego. It's really cute building legos with Rachel, because her objective is always to make a really high, unstable tower that falls down constantly. I try to stabilize the tower as we go and build a little house for Mr. Lego and Rachel loves it for a few minutes and then tears it down as quickly as she can. Then, Rachel decided she wanted to play a game on the computer, so I set it up for her and came downstairs to do fold some laundry. After about an hour, Rachel came downstairs and wanted to do crafts, so we got out her watercolor paints, papers, glue, beads, fuzzy puff balls, markers, etc...and she goes to town. Her usual objective is to glue as many things as she can to one piece of paper. I love watching her do crafts, because I know how much I enjoy doing it and how therapeutic it is and it looks like she enjoys it just as much. Bradley was still sleeping well, so at 3:40, we woke him up. He's got a little cold, so I guess his little body is fighting it off. He woke up in a good mood, so we got some more juice, a snack of animal crackers and fruity snacks and watched some tv. Rachel ate the same snack with him and we just relaxed for a little while. Then, Bradley realized that the gate to the upstairs was down, and wanted to "go" immediately. So, we went upstairs to play until daddy got home with the dryer. Once Nick was home, he set up the new dryer (to Rachel's amazement and fascination) and I made dinner. Dinner was pitiful...grits, ramen noodles, deli ham and chocolate milk for Rachel and grits, ramen noodles, peanut butter crackers and juice for Bradley. (By the way, I can't get Bradley to drink milk right now...so all he gets is watered down apple juice.) After dinner, the kids played and waited for daddy to finish his supper so he could play with them. They played "monster" where Nick chases them around and they run around screaming. Both kids love this game! I finished the dishes and cleaned the nasty kitchen. At 7:05, we went into Rachel's bathroom, where both kids brushed their teeth and I put vaseline coated cotton balls in Bradley's ears (to prevent water from getting into his tubes). Then, both kids got in the tub and had a nice relaxing, fun bath. They really love taking a bath and playing with the tub toys. Bradley still holds his soap, but has now added a sponge that he loves to hold. Rachel had one of her rubber crocodiles that is usually an out of the tub toy, in the tub, and she was having a blast flopping him around. Every time I give the kids a bath, I think, wow, how nice and relaxing to take a bath each evening...I wish I could take one too! I guess that's one of the perks of being a kid...nightly baths! At 7:30, we get the kids dressed and each takes a kid to their room to read a book and go to bed. Tonight was my night to read to Rachel, so we read: The Very Hungry Caterpillar and Dr. Seuss's Tooth Book. Both are very cute and easy reads. Nick read to Bradley tonight and he read Thomas the Train's Go Train, Go! Bradley loves this one right now, so he was very excited.

Anyway, that's the long summary of our "nothing day". It isn't a special event or anything particularly interesting, but it's fun having a "nothing day" every once in awhile. Tomorrow, we'll probably go somewhere and do something...just to break things up! :)

Paci-Fairy Success

The Paci-Fairy Gift

Working hard on one of her new puzzles!

All done! What a smart girl!

Well, last night was the big night. We have talked about the paci-fairy for several days and Rachel was definitely interested in giving up her pa-pa's to other babies who need them. She was also very curious about what the pa-pa fairy would bring her. Since Rachel acted interested in the pa-pa fairy last night, we seized the moment. She and Nick decorated an envelope and she placed her pa-pa (we couldn't find the other one) in it and taped it up. Then, we left it on the kitchen table for the paci-fairy to come get it. She was excited at first, but as we read some stories, she said she wanted her pa-pa. I told her she would be fine and that the other babies were so happy to get her old pa-pa's. I told her that JuJu's baby would definitely get her pa-pa's and she was a little weepy, but she was pretty brave. She also used our sympathy and pity to get a little more attention and affection. She wanted some extra songs sung to her and then Nick had to go in and rock her and sing her a song too. But, she did fall asleep and slept all night without her pa-pa! We were very excited and proud of her for being such a big girl and meeting the challenge. This morning, when she woke up, there was a bag at the front door from the pa-pa fairy. It had 2 puzzles in it and a piano horn (leftover gifts I had bought for stockings, but didn't use when I realized I had too much). Well, Rachel was thrilled with what the pa-pa fairy brought her and seemed to enjoy the puzzles and horn. We're very proud of her and glad that it went so smooth. Tonight, Nick said she asked for her pa-pa and acted a little sad, but forgot about it pretty quickly. So, the paci-fairy was a success and we couldn't be happier. Now, if only we could get rid of "Bay". Just kidding...we don't mind Bay and it probably won't mess up Bradley's teeth like Rachel's pa-pa would! :) I think Bay will be with us for awhile!

Rachel-isms and Bradley-lingo

To me, there's nothing cuter than a child's pronunciation of a word. I remember being a kid and hearing stories of me and my siblings mispronouncing many words and we thought the stories were so funny.

Rachel certainly has her own way of saying things and sometimes picks up and mimics words I say frequently without my even realizing it. One of my formerly favorite words was "stupid". I used it in so many scenarios and situations that it was a constant out of my mouth. Well, Rachel picked up on that and started calling everyone and everything "stupid". We had several talks about this not being a very nice word to use and then we ignored it mostly, so Rachel wouldn't continue to think she would get attention every time she said "stupid". Then she got on a kick and said things were "not stupid". She'd say, mommy, that toy's "not stupid". I'd say, let's try not to say "stupid" and she'd say, I said it was "not stupid". I eventually ignored this too, and "not stupid" has become less of a favorite for her too. I have really cut down on my use of the word too...Thanks Rachel! She's always called Bradley, "Braddy". It's just easier for her to say it without the "L". Well, I love how she says it and I call him the same name most of the time. One of her new favorite words for me is "fweetheart". It's supposed to be "sweetheart" but it comes out with the "fw" sound. She mostly uses it when we're playing a game or something and she's the mom or teacher or leader and I'm the child. She'll say, "come here, fweetheart". Quite adorable! Another Rachel-ism is "buff guy" which really means "tough guy". I think she heard this from Toy Story (since we've had to watch it so many times for Bradley). In the movie, Woody says, "what are you doing, tough guy?". So, now Rachel loves to walk around the house saying "what are you doing, buff guy?" Too funny!

Bradley has his own language right now. He's really trying to make words and most of it comes out as inflections, if that makes any sense. It's a verbal sound but has inflections where he wants to emphasize a word or end a question. (I think!) Some of his more obvious words are: "MA" which is my emphatic summons from wherever he is. It's usually a loud yell and it means he wants me to ask him what he needs. He's also saying, "whoa" which means he has just slipped or feels unsteady or sees something that he thinks is unsteady. The other day he was standing on the coffee table and he slipped, but caught himself before he fell, and he appropriately used "whoa". It sounds really cute coming out of his little mouth. For a long time he has said, "hot" and every time he says that, he has to flop his wrist so his hand goes up and down, for emphasis, I guess. He went through a "booo" or book stage, where he wanted to look through books. He would let us know if we chose a book he didn't want to read by shaking his head emphatically no, and then pushing the book away. If he liked the book we chose, he would say, "that" as strongly as he could. He says "that" about anything he wants and agrees with. He'll bring us a movie, usually Toy Story or something and say "THAT" as loudly as he can to let us know he wants to watch it. He's also been obsessed with cows for a long time now and loves saying, "cow". Even if we see another farm animal, he likes to say, "cow". If we walk up to a fence, he automatically thinks there are cows on the other side and says, "cow". Bradley's latest word is, "go". He likes to say "go" when he wants to go upstairs or outside. He points and emphatically says "go" until we go where he wants to go.

I know there are so many other adorable words that the kids have put their own spin on. I hope I remember them all so I can tell Rachel and Bradley when they're older. It's just too darn cute!!

Busy, Busy Weekend!

What DARLING cousins!!!

Julia was being Rachel's mommy. She kept calling Rachel her "little darlin'."

Cousins...or twins?!?

Well, it was much anticipated and much fun, but now it's over. We had a great time with cousin JuJu, Uncle Matt and Aunt Wendy this weekend! They were able to stay at our house for 2 nights and we loved every minute of it. When Julia arrived, she and Rachel squealed, embraced and ran around for a good 5 minutes. Bradley was very excited to see his cousin, too. He wanted a hug from JuJu too and was definitely picking up on the girl's excitement vibes! It was pretty chaotic and rambunctious with all 3 kids running around having a good time, and it was very fun! We really look forward to our rare visits with them since they live 5 hours away now. The weekend was definitely a whirlwind since the purpose of the visit was to have Wendy, me and Tommy go through our gramma's house and select items that we'll want to hold onto to help us remember our precious grandmother once she has passed away. It was pretty sad being in her house without her...I've NEVER been in her house when she wasn't there. But, it was nice remembering that she's still here and will soon be in a new assisted living home that will hopefully provide her with the care and companionship she needs and deserves. So, the girls got up early on Saturday and were so glad to have instant playmates. They played all day...making a poster card for Gramma's room, going outside to play in Uncle Nick's tent and then ending up on the playground. Nana and Pop joined us for a lunch of Pop's yummy chili and sub sandwiches. Then, the kids went fishing at Gege and Papa's for a couple of hours and every kid caught a fish! Everyone slept fairly well Saturday night and then JuJu, Uncle Matt and Aunt Wendy left Sunday morning. Everyone was very tired after a long, busy weekend, but we all enjoyed being together and cherish these family times.

Just being a toddler And Paci-Fairies

Sweet girl loves her scooter!

What a precious smile!

Rachel and Bradley are extremely different in many ways. For one thing, they have very different temperaments. Rachel is very easy going and agreeable and somewhat reasonable for an almost 4 year old. She's always been pretty agreeable and distractable. We didn't really realize just how reasonable she was until we had Bradley. He's precious and sweet and can be extremely easy going, but he can also be completely unreasonable...meaning if he's got one thing on his mind, that's it. There's no changing it and he's going to keep reminding you of it until he feels satisfied that he got his way. I think just because he isn't as agreeable as Rachel has always been doesn't mean he's completely unreasonable, but that he does have a very strong will. He's also got the disadvantage of being the second child. I know darn well that Rachel got to do just about whatever she wanted (within reason) because we didn't have to consider another child. Of course, things are much different for Bradley since he has an older sister and things don't solely revolve around him and his wants like they did for Rachel. I try to remind myself of all these different variables when I start to think that Bradley's being unreasonable. Because, that's really not fair to him. He's such a sweet, lovey, huggy, silly boy and I love him dearly.

Rachel will be 4 in May and unfortunately, we have allowed her to have her pa-pa (pacifier) this entire time. She only uses it at night to help her go to sleep and it is not allowed out of her room, nor does she even ask for it at other times, but still that's pretty silly considering her age. However, I take sole responsibility for this. Nick has asked for us to get her off the pa-pa for a long time and I've been too scared (and lazy) to tackle it. I know I'm not giving her enough credit because she's an extremely bright, content, precious child and I know she can do it if we ask her to. I haven't wanted to do it because I couldn't think of a good way to go about doing it. But, just the other day, I caught a few minutes of Supernanny. I think Nanny Jo has some really good ideas and techniques that are simple and successful. Anyway, she had a family whose 3 year old still had a pa-pa and she suggested a "Paci-Fairy" who you gave all your paci's to in an envelope and then she left you a prize in return. I thought it sounded ingenius and worth a shot. So, tonight I was reading to Rachel and had not given her a pa-pa and it was almost time for me to turn out the light. She remembered and asked where it was. I told her that she didn't need it and she, getting choked up, said "I do need it". So, I said, "well, if you want to sleep without it tonight, the "pa-pa fairy" will take your pa-pa's and give them to babies who don't have any and she'll leave you a prize." Well, this excited Rachel and she was giddy thinking about what prize the pa-pa fairy would leave her. I was secretly excited too, thinking about how I could sneak in there tonight and leave her a couple of small items that Rachel's never seen and would be "paci-fairy" worthy. So, I was singing Rachel her last 2 songs and she said, "mom, (REALLY choked up), I not ready to get my prize from the "pa-pa fairy" tonight, I'll do it tomorrow." So, I said, "it's okay sweetie, we'll do it tomorrow night" and she went to sleep with her pa-pa.


Oh well! I know we can do it, but I think it'll take a little more "talking up" and her actually putting her pa-pa's in an envelope for the paci-fairy so she doesn't have them there next to her bed for an easy grab. So, I'll let you know how it all turns out...as soon as we're successful!


Until then, I'll allow Rachel to use her little pa-pa and feel comfortable until she's ready to send it to other babies. (She did inquire whether or not her pa-pa would go to JuJu's baby or not, which I assured her it would.) She's the sweetest, little doll and I love her dearly!!!